Main programs of our society

I'm starting a new series, in which I'm going to analyze main programs that determine human behavior in social interactions.

The first program, that I want to talk about is a belief:
"External world is responsible for how I feel".

This is the key program and many other programs are based on this one. This is not a very complicated algorithm. It is a deeply-rooted, unconscious belief, that other people and external circumstances determine how we feel and that there's nothing we can do about it.

Because of this belief, people try to influence others to make them feel better. (I can't make myself happy. Other people can make me happy. I need to make them make me happy.) People tame each other with stick and carrot. As a result, on the one hand, people try to subjugate others to their emotional needs. But on the other hand, they struggle to live up to others' expectations.
A whole social game arises from this mechanism. People pretend and manipulate. They are not natural. They are not happy. Most people seem to be completely absorbed by this system of social interactions.

In my opinion, it's not healthy. It is dis-empowering to rely on something we can't control. It's much better to be happy no matter what is happening, or at least to focus on your passions, be yourself and not care so much about what other people think about you.
If you're not attacking anybody, then you are OK. Everybody is responsible for themselves, for how they feel. Nobody has the right to expect another person to make them feel good.
Only then you can start creating healthy relationships. Otherwise, it's just codependency.

I used to have this program too. It took me a few years to get rid of it and to change my way of thinking because it was before I learned to reprogram my mind. I didn't know the things I do now, so I had to do this the hard way. Every time something upset me, I had to remind myself, that this thing doesn't have the power to control how I feel - I do. I tried to stay calm and regain balance. I didn't have any other tools. It was difficult.

I remember I always got really frustrated when I was waiting for a tram, when going home from school, and it was behind schedule. It was a good opportunity to practice this. It also happened a lot. It required a lot of effort to overcome this frustration. I used to tell myself, that I could think about something else, or at least watch clouds. I could spend this time better than being frustrated. But it was a struggle.

After a few years of hard work, I learned not to depend on the external circumstances and behavior of other people. I learned to stay calm even in situations where everybody else was freaking out.
I think, that this would be a good first step for creating a healthy society.