It's very difficult for me to write about mind programs. There's a saying: "easier said than done". For me, it's the opposite of that. For me, it's much easier to reprogram my mind, than to talk about it. There's no vocabulary for this. Also the better I am at reprogramming my mind, the more difficult it is to describe this process.
For example, 3 years ago I could write something like this:
This is for those, who like technical descriptions of reprogramming mind.
What I’ll describe is not me just talking to myself, it’s also me “seeing” actual programs, mechanisms, beliefs, and changing them. I know some of you might ask “how to see them and how to change them?” But I don’t have an easy answer. Practice, I guess?
Yesterday while meditating I noticed some tension in my head, like I was suppressing something. I looked into it, and I felt, that it was fear-based. I looked closer, and I saw that I was afraid to be even slightly wrong. I looked even deeper, and I saw, that I was afraid, that I am somehow wrong, and I’m not aware of it. So I had to investigate, why would I be afraid of that. It turned out that I was afraid to be judged by myself, or by someone and that I would be punished in some way.
Ok, I had this whole structure figured out. Now I had to reprogram it. Belief by belief.
I reminded myself, that I did some work on judgment issue lately, so now I’m less judgmental to myself and others. Plus, have I ever judged myself so much, that I have to be afraid of myself? (little absurd, I know) No, I haven’t. So I could easily turn off my fear of self judgment.
Who else might judge me? God? Existence? What would be the punishment? I would be erased from the existence? Plus if I don’t know, where I’m wrong how can I be blamed?
Also Bashar said that negative beliefs will come to surface naturally(isn’t that what’s just happening?) And I’m an always evolving being, so it’s natural that some beliefs are getting outdated. This reasoning allowed me to turn off my fear of being judged by… I don’t even know by whom. To turn off fear of punishment, or any disastrous consequences of me being wrong.
Once I did that, I could easily turn off my fear of unknowingly being wrong. Going back to the beginning: if it’s ok for me to be wrong, it’s even more ok to be slightly wrong – belief fixed. Finally if everything is alright, I don’t have to suppress anything.
I felt huge relief, and something like energy running through a pipe in my head that was blocked probably for whole my life.
I hope it’s at least a little helping/inspiring.
Now I don't need to do things step by step like that. Like I said before, now it takes me more time to decide that I want to make some changes than to actually make them. I have absolutely no idea how I could describe the process of reprogramming my mind the way I do it now.
For example, I stopped worrying about money lately. For me, having no money was a huge source of stress for many years. I still have no idea how I could ever make a living. But I decided that nothing good comes of worrying. I didn't expect this to be easy because of all this stress accumulated over the years. But it was much easier than I thought it would be. I just thought to myself "worrying hasn't helped me so far and it's the end of this civilization anyway, so I really don't need to stress". Then I deleted worrying about money from my mind. I was expecting this to come back. I didn't expect it to be completely gone in one moment after so many years. But it seems to be completely gone. It's been maybe 2 weeks since I've done that. I haven't experienced any stress related to money since then. I'm surprised by how effective this operation was. Maybe I missed something, maybe it will come back? In one moment I removed so much stress. Why didn't I do that earlier? Did I really believe that I needed this stress as a motivation?
Anyway, I am still amazed by how my mind works just like a computer.
I had some kind of a breakthrough around November. I don't know what it was, or what happened, but I've made many fundamental changes in my mind since then. Things that were very difficult or even blocked suddenly became easier. I've had a period when I've been making huge life-changing operations on my mind every day. Things that I've been trying to do for years suddenly became easy. It was a very transformational period. Now I have a much more quiet time.
One of the things that I changed back then, was that I decided to start expressing myself more authentically and to stop caring if people accept me. It was difficult for me, because if people don't accept me, then I won't have any friends, I won't be able to do anything for the world, I won't have any money and I'll die alone. But I decided to do this anyway. I realized that conforming to the rules of society and fighting for survival at any cost is an ugly way to live. It's a part of the problem, not a part of the solution. So I decided to finally break free and be myself. Even if it meant that nobody would want to have anything to do with me.
Another thing, that I realized during that period was that I am a very goal-oriented person. This caused a lot of tension in my mind when I had no goal because instead of just living in a moment, my mind was constantly searching for a new goal. There's nothing wrong about having goals. But searching desperately for a goal when you don't have one, just because your programs require having a goal is not very productive. So I removed my need to have a goal. This turned out to be a key program and a cascade of positive changes followed.
I wish more people could learn how to reprogram their minds. But nobody seems to be interested in it.
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