Putting on masks, creating an image, showing self only from the best side. There are very few truly authentic people. People put so much effort into creating and sustaining their image. They show themselves as someone who is happy, successful, or as someone who knows the answer to any question.
The need to belong. People want to be a part of something bigger than themselves, a community, movement, etc. It releases them from the responsibility to think for themselves. It gives them a sense of security and power.
Emotions. People are very emotional. They use words to express emotions. For most people, the emotional message is more important, than the information. People believe that emotions are what make them human.
Self-esteem. People generally have low self-esteem. They try to compensate for it in many ways. They try to give the impression, that they are happy, successful, etc. But very often, just one unfavorable opinion is enough to make someone feel bad about himself.
Consumerism. People treat others almost like products, as a means of gratification. People want their interactions to be easy and entertaining. They don't want a friendship that is like a mountain hike. They want hundreds of friendships that are like watching TV and drinking beer. If an interaction is a little bit more difficult and challenging – they don't bother.
Conformity. People need to play by the rules of society to survive and that's what they do. People say and do what is expected of them. They fear being rejected. People keep their heads down because they are afraid of others' reactions.
Impressing others. The funny thing is that the attitude: "Look at me, I'm so cool. You are nothing compared to me." is very not cool. Yet everybody seems to fall into it.
I don't mean only bragging on Facebook about some fancy vacations. I mean almost everybody in almost every interaction. There is a subtle, hidden intention to impress others.
"We buy things we don't need with money we don't have to impress people we don't like."
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/3v55fs
This post concludes this list of main programs. Maybe I will add something to this list if something comes to my mind. But I think that this list:
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/search/label/list%20of%20programs
is already enough to understand and predict many human behaviors, and if I were to reprogram the society, I'd start there.
I guess, from now on I will write less often. I sill have some ideas that I want to write about, but I've already shared most of what I wanted to share.
Reprogramming one's mind is a very practical subject. It can be learned, but I'm not sure if it can be taught. I think there's not much that can be said theoretically about mind programs. It's best to talk about specific programs in real-life situations. But that requires two-sided communication.
I will write when I feel inspired.
Tuesday, 19 May 2020
Thursday, 14 May 2020
Mind loops
Working with mind programs you can sometimes enter into a loop. It is good to know about this mechanism. A loop happens when a program tries to do something with itself. Probably the most popular example of this mechanism is when you try to relax.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH66zI3312E
The function of trying to relax tries to relax itself. The more you try to relax, the less relaxed you are.
This mechanism usually has weird and unpleasant effects. Especially when you don't know, that your mind is in such a loop.
For example, I had a difficult period many years ago, long before I learned to work with mind programs. For 2 weeks I've been trying to find what's wrong with me because I felt really bad. I felt very tense but I didn't know why, so I tried to find the reason why. I tried and I tried, but I finally gave up. Then suddenly I felt OK.
It is interesting how the mind behaves according to the algorithmic laws. Once it enters a loop, nothing seems to help. No other tools seem to relieve the discomfort. The only solution is to exit this loop.
I mean, it is obvious that you cannot simply format C.
https://www.lifewire.com/how-to-format-c-drive-2626123
But the computer is just a machine. The fact that my mind is subject to the same laws and it is painfully impossible for me to prove otherwise, confirms my belief, that my mind is basically made of programs.
I still enter into some loops from time to time. That's why when I feel that something is wrong, but I don't know what, the first thing I do is ask myself if I'm not in some kind of a loop.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vH66zI3312E
The function of trying to relax tries to relax itself. The more you try to relax, the less relaxed you are.
This mechanism usually has weird and unpleasant effects. Especially when you don't know, that your mind is in such a loop.
For example, I had a difficult period many years ago, long before I learned to work with mind programs. For 2 weeks I've been trying to find what's wrong with me because I felt really bad. I felt very tense but I didn't know why, so I tried to find the reason why. I tried and I tried, but I finally gave up. Then suddenly I felt OK.
It is interesting how the mind behaves according to the algorithmic laws. Once it enters a loop, nothing seems to help. No other tools seem to relieve the discomfort. The only solution is to exit this loop.
I mean, it is obvious that you cannot simply format C.
https://www.lifewire.com/how-to-format-c-drive-2626123
But the computer is just a machine. The fact that my mind is subject to the same laws and it is painfully impossible for me to prove otherwise, confirms my belief, that my mind is basically made of programs.
I still enter into some loops from time to time. That's why when I feel that something is wrong, but I don't know what, the first thing I do is ask myself if I'm not in some kind of a loop.
Wednesday, 13 May 2020
Where do mind programs come from?
Where do mind programs come from?
Why people behave the way they do?
I once saw a documentary film in which two sides argued about whether human behavior comes from genes or is shaped by the environment. I was very surprised by it. How can someone believe that human behavior is determined by just one factor? How can someone discard all other factors?
Fortunately, many people accept the idea, that both genes and environment influence human behavior.
The way I see it, there are many factors that influence how we behave. Probably much more than just those two.
From an algorithmic perspective, mind programs don't come out of nowhere. Of course, some simple behaviors, some simple patterns can be a result of a random factor like a genetic mutation or some trauma. But some people show very complex and sophisticated behavior, which is very different from their parents' behavior and very different from anything in this culture, so they didn't learn this behavior from movies, etc. Science ignores it as statistically insignificant. But it's very naive to believe for example, that a person with a very specific and very developed strategy for cooperation is just a random phenomenon. I mean, it is normal that your computer can get a little buggy and it starts to report some errors, but you don't expect it to spontaneously develop a new advanced application. This strategy must have evolved in some environment, probably many individuals have been developing it for a very long time. Because there's not much cooperation here on Earth, it might suggest, that this individual learned this way of cooperation somewhere else. It leads to the conclusion, that besides genes and environment there is something like a soul, that has some experiences prior to this life and it influences this person's behavior.
But there can be many more factors, which influence people's behavior.
Why people behave the way they do?
I once saw a documentary film in which two sides argued about whether human behavior comes from genes or is shaped by the environment. I was very surprised by it. How can someone believe that human behavior is determined by just one factor? How can someone discard all other factors?
Fortunately, many people accept the idea, that both genes and environment influence human behavior.
The way I see it, there are many factors that influence how we behave. Probably much more than just those two.
From an algorithmic perspective, mind programs don't come out of nowhere. Of course, some simple behaviors, some simple patterns can be a result of a random factor like a genetic mutation or some trauma. But some people show very complex and sophisticated behavior, which is very different from their parents' behavior and very different from anything in this culture, so they didn't learn this behavior from movies, etc. Science ignores it as statistically insignificant. But it's very naive to believe for example, that a person with a very specific and very developed strategy for cooperation is just a random phenomenon. I mean, it is normal that your computer can get a little buggy and it starts to report some errors, but you don't expect it to spontaneously develop a new advanced application. This strategy must have evolved in some environment, probably many individuals have been developing it for a very long time. Because there's not much cooperation here on Earth, it might suggest, that this individual learned this way of cooperation somewhere else. It leads to the conclusion, that besides genes and environment there is something like a soul, that has some experiences prior to this life and it influences this person's behavior.
But there can be many more factors, which influence people's behavior.
Monday, 11 May 2020
Law of attraction
Although I think of myself as a very spiritual person, I try to stay as far as I can from any woo-woo.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/woo-woo
I believe that spirituality doesn't have to be woo-woo. It doesn't have to be unclear and confusing. You don't have to give up common sense to be a spiritual person. I try to avoid using concepts that don't have a clear definition. I try to precisely describe every mechanism so that there's no confusion about how the concepts I introduce work. I try not to speak in a woo-woo way. I think it's important.
I think that most people who speak in a woo-woo way, who can't clearly explain what they mean, are either confused themselves and they don't know what they are talking about, or they are trying to manipulate others.
What is the main idea behind the law of attraction?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_attraction_(New_Thought)
The way I see it, the law of attraction is a very unclear and messy concept, but the general idea is that "like attracts like" and you attract into your life situations that match your state of mind, your thoughts, emotions, what you focus on.
It is a good case study for mind program analysis because it is very popular and very ambiguous. There are many people who are confused about this idea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6xCjY39_t0
Does the law of attraction work?
It obviously works in a non-woo-woo way. For example, let's say I go to a party in a T-shirt with the name of my favorite band. Then someone approaches me, he also likes this band and we talk about music. There's nothing surprising or mysterious about it.
There's also nothing mysterious about the fact that when you change your thoughts and emotions towards a certain situation, you also change your behavior and your new behavior has an impact on the situation.
But does it work in a more "magical" way? Is it possible to manifest something directly using just your focus?
I don't know.
It's such a broad topic. This question can be interpreted in so many ways.
If I think about a person and that person calls me, is that law of attraction or "just telepathy"?
When I want to achieve something, my approach is to do what I can and if I can't achieve it – I accept that and I move on.
But let's say the law of attraction works. Let's say that there is a mechanism that I don't fully understand. Is it possible, that everything in our lives happens according to the law of attraction?
When I throw a ball, what determines its trajectory? I'd say initial velocity vector, the force of gravity, air resistance, maybe wind. Claiming that only one factor determines the trajectory of the ball would be unreasonable.
Life is more complex than throwing a ball. Claiming that only the law of attraction determines what happens in somebody's life is unreasonable. There are many mechanisms in this world and the final result is more like a resultant force. For example, when someone loses his job, it could be because of a recession and it can have very little to do with his attitude.
When I put a magnet in the haystack, will the magnet attract the needle? I'd say that depends. Is there a needle in this haystack?
In order to attract something, it has to be there. You won't attract something that doesn't exist or is unobtainable. For example, if someone tries to attract a perfect partner, but there is no right person on this planet, then what does he expect? He won't manifest a perfect partner out of thin air. If the right person wasn't already born, then there's not much he can do about it.
Even if there is such a thing, the law of attraction definitely doesn't seem to be above all other laws of this Universe.
This reality also doesn't seem to be ruled by some woo-woo. It seems to be ruled by very specific mechanisms, like in those two examples. It's good to understand such mechanisms and to be careful with any type of woo-woo.
I'm not saying that our state of being doesn't attract anything into our lives. I'm just saying it's a bad idea to trust some woo-woo over logic and common sense.
It is interesting how people attach a boolean variable to a concept like the law of attraction.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/04/boolean-data-type.html
They assign value "true" to it because of the authority program.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/04/authority-program.html
They don't want any kind of proof.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/04/two-sides-of-same-coin.html
They put it in their Truth Box, believing "The Law of Attraction is the most powerful law in the universe.".
They build their entire model of reality around it, attaching beliefs that support it and discarding everything that doesn't support it.
They spread this idea by teaching it to others.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/04/the-truth-box.html
They think about it externally.
They don't question it. When they "attract" something negative into their lives, instead of questioning this way of thinking, they believe there must be something wrong with them.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/04/four-types-of-thinking.html
They are lost in the world of words and concepts.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/04/good-vs-freedom.html
And they are upset when they can't attract what they want.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/05/assigning-values.html
This is how I decode people's behavior.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/03/westworld.html
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/woo-woo
I believe that spirituality doesn't have to be woo-woo. It doesn't have to be unclear and confusing. You don't have to give up common sense to be a spiritual person. I try to avoid using concepts that don't have a clear definition. I try to precisely describe every mechanism so that there's no confusion about how the concepts I introduce work. I try not to speak in a woo-woo way. I think it's important.
I think that most people who speak in a woo-woo way, who can't clearly explain what they mean, are either confused themselves and they don't know what they are talking about, or they are trying to manipulate others.
What is the main idea behind the law of attraction?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Law_of_attraction_(New_Thought)
The way I see it, the law of attraction is a very unclear and messy concept, but the general idea is that "like attracts like" and you attract into your life situations that match your state of mind, your thoughts, emotions, what you focus on.
It is a good case study for mind program analysis because it is very popular and very ambiguous. There are many people who are confused about this idea.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6xCjY39_t0
Does the law of attraction work?
It obviously works in a non-woo-woo way. For example, let's say I go to a party in a T-shirt with the name of my favorite band. Then someone approaches me, he also likes this band and we talk about music. There's nothing surprising or mysterious about it.
There's also nothing mysterious about the fact that when you change your thoughts and emotions towards a certain situation, you also change your behavior and your new behavior has an impact on the situation.
But does it work in a more "magical" way? Is it possible to manifest something directly using just your focus?
I don't know.
It's such a broad topic. This question can be interpreted in so many ways.
If I think about a person and that person calls me, is that law of attraction or "just telepathy"?
When I want to achieve something, my approach is to do what I can and if I can't achieve it – I accept that and I move on.
But let's say the law of attraction works. Let's say that there is a mechanism that I don't fully understand. Is it possible, that everything in our lives happens according to the law of attraction?
When I throw a ball, what determines its trajectory? I'd say initial velocity vector, the force of gravity, air resistance, maybe wind. Claiming that only one factor determines the trajectory of the ball would be unreasonable.
Life is more complex than throwing a ball. Claiming that only the law of attraction determines what happens in somebody's life is unreasonable. There are many mechanisms in this world and the final result is more like a resultant force. For example, when someone loses his job, it could be because of a recession and it can have very little to do with his attitude.
When I put a magnet in the haystack, will the magnet attract the needle? I'd say that depends. Is there a needle in this haystack?
In order to attract something, it has to be there. You won't attract something that doesn't exist or is unobtainable. For example, if someone tries to attract a perfect partner, but there is no right person on this planet, then what does he expect? He won't manifest a perfect partner out of thin air. If the right person wasn't already born, then there's not much he can do about it.
Even if there is such a thing, the law of attraction definitely doesn't seem to be above all other laws of this Universe.
This reality also doesn't seem to be ruled by some woo-woo. It seems to be ruled by very specific mechanisms, like in those two examples. It's good to understand such mechanisms and to be careful with any type of woo-woo.
I'm not saying that our state of being doesn't attract anything into our lives. I'm just saying it's a bad idea to trust some woo-woo over logic and common sense.
It is interesting how people attach a boolean variable to a concept like the law of attraction.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/04/boolean-data-type.html
They assign value "true" to it because of the authority program.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/04/authority-program.html
They don't want any kind of proof.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/04/two-sides-of-same-coin.html
They put it in their Truth Box, believing "The Law of Attraction is the most powerful law in the universe.".
They build their entire model of reality around it, attaching beliefs that support it and discarding everything that doesn't support it.
They spread this idea by teaching it to others.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/04/the-truth-box.html
They think about it externally.
They don't question it. When they "attract" something negative into their lives, instead of questioning this way of thinking, they believe there must be something wrong with them.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/04/four-types-of-thinking.html
They are lost in the world of words and concepts.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/04/good-vs-freedom.html
And they are upset when they can't attract what they want.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/05/assigning-values.html
This is how I decode people's behavior.
https://grzegorzszlakowski.blogspot.com/2020/03/westworld.html
Thursday, 7 May 2020
Marcus Aurelius
I really like this quote:
"God give me patience, to reconcile with what I am not able to change
Give me strength to change what I can
And give me wisdom to distinguish one from another."
- Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
I think it's a good strategy. It's an algorithm that is worth having.
It is so simple:
Do what you can.
Accept what you can't change.
Learn to distinguish one from another.
Many algorithms, that are worth having are simple.
It sounds too trivial to pay close attention to it, doesn't it?
That's why people tend to remember wise words as cool quotes and they go on living their lives according to their programs.
If only they put it into practice…
There are so many teachings and philosophies that seem to not understand this quote.
For example, there's a very popular belief promoted in many spiritual teachings that "Everything is perfect as it is. You don't have to do anything.".
But what if you saw a child on the tracks and an oncoming train? Would you say "Everything is perfect as it is" and do nothing?
I know it's an extreme example, but it actually works like that. Because of this belief, people are passive in situations that require taking action.
Another popular belief: "World is just a reflection of yourself.".
Oh, really? So I can completely change the entire Universe by changing myself?
I'm not saying that the external world doesn't reflect our internal worlds in some aspects. I'm not saying that it's not a useful tool for some people to think like that.
But you won't eliminate world problems just by changing yourself internally.
Many people think that there is something seriously wrong with them because the world and their life conditions reflect it to them.
This is the problem with what I call "talking to the belief system".
The belief from the first example was probably intended to deal with a panic state that there's something wrong and with some desperate pointless attempts to fix it. But it is not very useful as a standalone algorithm.
The belief from the second example was probably intended to help people with a victim mentality take more responsibility for their lives. But it creates a lot of confusion.
The quote from Marcus Aurelius covers all that, but unlike these beliefs, it is very practical.
It doesn't neglect your responsibility.
But it admits, that there are things, that you cannot change.
And it tells you to be smart about it.
"God give me patience, to reconcile with what I am not able to change
Give me strength to change what I can
And give me wisdom to distinguish one from another."
- Marcus Aurelius, Meditations
I think it's a good strategy. It's an algorithm that is worth having.
It is so simple:
Do what you can.
Accept what you can't change.
Learn to distinguish one from another.
Many algorithms, that are worth having are simple.
It sounds too trivial to pay close attention to it, doesn't it?
That's why people tend to remember wise words as cool quotes and they go on living their lives according to their programs.
If only they put it into practice…
There are so many teachings and philosophies that seem to not understand this quote.
For example, there's a very popular belief promoted in many spiritual teachings that "Everything is perfect as it is. You don't have to do anything.".
But what if you saw a child on the tracks and an oncoming train? Would you say "Everything is perfect as it is" and do nothing?
I know it's an extreme example, but it actually works like that. Because of this belief, people are passive in situations that require taking action.
Another popular belief: "World is just a reflection of yourself.".
Oh, really? So I can completely change the entire Universe by changing myself?
I'm not saying that the external world doesn't reflect our internal worlds in some aspects. I'm not saying that it's not a useful tool for some people to think like that.
But you won't eliminate world problems just by changing yourself internally.
Many people think that there is something seriously wrong with them because the world and their life conditions reflect it to them.
This is the problem with what I call "talking to the belief system".
The belief from the first example was probably intended to deal with a panic state that there's something wrong and with some desperate pointless attempts to fix it. But it is not very useful as a standalone algorithm.
The belief from the second example was probably intended to help people with a victim mentality take more responsibility for their lives. But it creates a lot of confusion.
The quote from Marcus Aurelius covers all that, but unlike these beliefs, it is very practical.
It doesn't neglect your responsibility.
But it admits, that there are things, that you cannot change.
And it tells you to be smart about it.
Wednesday, 6 May 2020
Assigning values
What I'm going to describe is a very simple mechanism, but it is responsible for a lot of mental discomfort in this world.
Many people want to have a well-paid job, their own house, they want to get married and have kids, etc. They set a goal. They try to get a good job or to find a life partner. They believe that when they finally reach that goal, they will be satisfied and happy.
But what they are actually doing is they are assigning values. When they set a goal to have money, family, and all of that, they assign a neutral value to it. Mentally they define it as zero. Not good, not bad, just how it's supposed to be. Because the state after reaching the goal is defined as zero, it is only logical that the state before reaching that goal must have a negative value assigned to it.
And that's what people do. They define the present moment, the present situation as negative. They assign a value below zero to how things are.
Because they define what's now as negative, it creates a lot of tension, a lot of resistance, desperation, other negative emotions, and all other dramas.
Not to mention that when they finally reach their goals, they can't enjoy it because they defined it as zero.
It doesn't work like that only for big life goals. It works also for most of the small everyday goals.
For example, let's take a person, who would like to lose some weight. He sets a goal for himself to eat healthily, exercise, and to lose 5 kg. In his mind, he assigns a value 0 to the state where he has lost 5 kg. Because of that, he assigns a value -5 to the present state. Then he tries to maintain his diet and he signs up for the gym. But he's a bit lazy and he likes to eat, so half a year has passed and he has lost only 2 kg. He still needs to lose 3 kg to reach his goal. Now he assigns a value -3 to the present situation. He is unhappy about himself. He thinks he is useless and weak.
What he could have done is he could have assigned a value 0 to his weight at that time. He could have accepted his body as it is. Then after losing 2 kg, he would have been at +2 value. He would have been happy about making a positive change in his life.
What value you assign has no direct effect on reality. But it has a huge impact on how you feel and how you see things. If you're not in some kind of immediate danger, then why would you define the present moment as negative? Why assign a negative value to it?
Because I can see the code in my mind, I find myself doing it all the time.
Why not define the present moment as zero or even positive? Why not be happy with what you have and celebrate every improvement?
Things are what they are, but it is you who assign values to them. Why make yourself suffer by assigning negative values to what simply is?
Many people want to have a well-paid job, their own house, they want to get married and have kids, etc. They set a goal. They try to get a good job or to find a life partner. They believe that when they finally reach that goal, they will be satisfied and happy.
But what they are actually doing is they are assigning values. When they set a goal to have money, family, and all of that, they assign a neutral value to it. Mentally they define it as zero. Not good, not bad, just how it's supposed to be. Because the state after reaching the goal is defined as zero, it is only logical that the state before reaching that goal must have a negative value assigned to it.
And that's what people do. They define the present moment, the present situation as negative. They assign a value below zero to how things are.
Because they define what's now as negative, it creates a lot of tension, a lot of resistance, desperation, other negative emotions, and all other dramas.
Not to mention that when they finally reach their goals, they can't enjoy it because they defined it as zero.
It doesn't work like that only for big life goals. It works also for most of the small everyday goals.
For example, let's take a person, who would like to lose some weight. He sets a goal for himself to eat healthily, exercise, and to lose 5 kg. In his mind, he assigns a value 0 to the state where he has lost 5 kg. Because of that, he assigns a value -5 to the present state. Then he tries to maintain his diet and he signs up for the gym. But he's a bit lazy and he likes to eat, so half a year has passed and he has lost only 2 kg. He still needs to lose 3 kg to reach his goal. Now he assigns a value -3 to the present situation. He is unhappy about himself. He thinks he is useless and weak.
What he could have done is he could have assigned a value 0 to his weight at that time. He could have accepted his body as it is. Then after losing 2 kg, he would have been at +2 value. He would have been happy about making a positive change in his life.
What value you assign has no direct effect on reality. But it has a huge impact on how you feel and how you see things. If you're not in some kind of immediate danger, then why would you define the present moment as negative? Why assign a negative value to it?
Because I can see the code in my mind, I find myself doing it all the time.
Why not define the present moment as zero or even positive? Why not be happy with what you have and celebrate every improvement?
Things are what they are, but it is you who assign values to them. Why make yourself suffer by assigning negative values to what simply is?
Tuesday, 5 May 2020
Hidden meanings
A popular example from internet memes:
Not sure if girl wants to cuddle when she says: It's cold... Or just stating the obvious.
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/358gfd
A girl wants a guy to hug her. But there is a rule in our society that men should take the initiative in man-woman things. So she can't hug him first. Also, she can't say directly "hug me" because she would look desperate or needy. That's why she gives him a message with a hidden meaning, hoping that he would guess her intention.
There are a lot more subtle details to this, but that's the main mechanism. Everything is played by the rules of society, but it leads to confusion.
Several years ago I witnessed a group discussion on selfless help. One person stated that people should help each other selflessly. Another person said that people should be careful because some selfish individuals could use that.
Someone must have incorrectly guessed the intention of the second person. He must have thought, that the second person is generally against selfless help. But he didn't ask about that. Instead, he started to advocate for selfless help. Someone must have seen it as insisting on blindly helping everyone and being taken advantage of.
This thing quickly escalated to a very chaotic discussion. I believe, that every person participating in this discussion was more or less on the same page. They all believed it is good to help others, but it's also good to be careful.
It could have been avoided if just one person stated "I'm not against selfless help. I'm just saying you need to be careful.". Then if another person replied "Oh, OK. I'm not saying you don't need to be careful.", it would be over.
But they assumed the communication is working. They just thought that others were wrong.
Also several years ago I was writing via Skype with a guy. I don't remember the topic of our conversation. I remember, that none of what he wrote made any sense to me. I could see no content in his statements, just babble. I was obviously confused. I tried to precisely present my position. I tried to suggest him to do the same. But he didn't. After reading everything he wrote 3 or 4 times I finally understood what he was doing. I asked him: "Are you trying to assure me, that I don't need to defend myself, because you thought that I was defending myself, because I felt attacked by you?". He answered: "OMG, yes.". I explained to him, that I wasn't defending myself, I didn't feel attacked and that I just wanted to be specific and precise.
This way I avoided a potential conflict. I somehow managed to correctly guess the hidden meaning behind his words. Then I expressed my intentions directly, without any hidden meaning.
People have this amazing tendency to over-simplify things that are actually more complex, but they are true masters in complicating things that are actually quite simple.
Not sure if girl wants to cuddle when she says: It's cold... Or just stating the obvious.
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/358gfd
A girl wants a guy to hug her. But there is a rule in our society that men should take the initiative in man-woman things. So she can't hug him first. Also, she can't say directly "hug me" because she would look desperate or needy. That's why she gives him a message with a hidden meaning, hoping that he would guess her intention.
There are a lot more subtle details to this, but that's the main mechanism. Everything is played by the rules of society, but it leads to confusion.
Several years ago I witnessed a group discussion on selfless help. One person stated that people should help each other selflessly. Another person said that people should be careful because some selfish individuals could use that.
Someone must have incorrectly guessed the intention of the second person. He must have thought, that the second person is generally against selfless help. But he didn't ask about that. Instead, he started to advocate for selfless help. Someone must have seen it as insisting on blindly helping everyone and being taken advantage of.
This thing quickly escalated to a very chaotic discussion. I believe, that every person participating in this discussion was more or less on the same page. They all believed it is good to help others, but it's also good to be careful.
It could have been avoided if just one person stated "I'm not against selfless help. I'm just saying you need to be careful.". Then if another person replied "Oh, OK. I'm not saying you don't need to be careful.", it would be over.
But they assumed the communication is working. They just thought that others were wrong.
Also several years ago I was writing via Skype with a guy. I don't remember the topic of our conversation. I remember, that none of what he wrote made any sense to me. I could see no content in his statements, just babble. I was obviously confused. I tried to precisely present my position. I tried to suggest him to do the same. But he didn't. After reading everything he wrote 3 or 4 times I finally understood what he was doing. I asked him: "Are you trying to assure me, that I don't need to defend myself, because you thought that I was defending myself, because I felt attacked by you?". He answered: "OMG, yes.". I explained to him, that I wasn't defending myself, I didn't feel attacked and that I just wanted to be specific and precise.
This way I avoided a potential conflict. I somehow managed to correctly guess the hidden meaning behind his words. Then I expressed my intentions directly, without any hidden meaning.
People have this amazing tendency to over-simplify things that are actually more complex, but they are true masters in complicating things that are actually quite simple.