Apart from this faulty cluster, my mind seems to be relatively OK. But there's always room for improvement. Also because I don't have much experience with social interactions, my modules for social interactions are a mess. It's hard to work on them when I'm alone because those programs are not active.
One time I was sitting in a room with some people and talked to them for many hours. After some time I felt tired and I decided to take a break. I turned off all of my modules for social interactions. It wasn't a good idea, because suddenly I felt like I was alone in the room. It was scary. I looked around, I saw people, but I felt like I was the only person in that room. There were only objects beside me. For me, there was no difference between a person and a chair or table. I had to remind myself, that some of those objects are actually people. I quickly turned it all back on. I've never tried anything like that ever again.
I don't like messing with my social programs while talking to people. My mind is somewhat unstable while adjusting to my patches and it affects my behavior. I tried it once, to make some major changes to my social behavior programs while talking to a person. I felt really awkward and my behavior was unpredictable. Although this person assured me, that there was nothing wrong with how I acted that day. Now I prefer to observe myself when I'm around people and make changes when I'm alone. But with not many opportunities for interactions, I'm not doing a lot in this area.
When I was a beginner at reprogramming my mind, I realized that my motivation for growth is not 100% positive. That's why I removed it (with an intention to replace it with a positive one). But suddenly I felt like I was dying, everything went black and I almost fainted. I had to replace my motivation very fast. I don't know what would've happened if I failed. Once I put my new, pure motivation for growth in place, everything was fine. It was even better than before.
My advice: be responsible! You can really hurt yourself.
Another example of what I do: I found out, that I was confusing "I don't have to" with "I mustn't".
Obviously, on a normal, human level I knew the difference. But when I thought "I don't have to do this", I run the program "I mustn't do this", which caused a lot of tension in my mind.
It should be easy to change:
Mustn't: don't – OK, do – not OK
Don't have to: don't – OK, do – not OK
to:
Mustn't: don't – OK, do – not OK
Don't have to: don't – OK, do – OK
But it didn't fix the problem. (It had nothing to do with words or language. I use words just to describe this program. Many people claim that the human mind doesn't understand negation, words like "no", "not", "don't". But I don't see it that way. On the level of mind programs, there's no problem with negation. I usually don't have any problem implementing negation using words. Maybe other people do.)
This one stuck in my mind because for such an elementary program, it was a surprisingly difficult problem for me. It took me many months to finally fix this and I still don't know, what was wrong. I just removed this whole function, with all other programs connected to it, and I replaced it with a new structure. Usually, I don't have so much trouble with a single program. Almost always I'm able to precisely decode the structure of a program and find the bug.
I really use my mind like a computer now.
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